Amblin’ Alameda: The Aliens Are Among Us

Amblin’ Alameda: The Aliens Are Among Us

Morton Chalfy

I can’t be the only one who has noticed this disturbing set of occurrences but, if I am, consider this a sounding of the alarm. The Aliens are among us and they are taking over. I can tell this from the commercials on TV - more and more of the ads are in a language I do not understand. It sounds like English but contains words and references to things I know nothing about, things having to do with hand-held devices shown in the hands of smiling, very young people, communicating their alien desires to each other.

I am moved to write, to cry out, to shout from the rooftops because the commercials are proliferating - from communication devices to autos equipped with heaven knows what gadgets, because I certainly don’t. They use acronyms as though everyone understands them. Everyone being their fellow aliens.

Somehow the aliens all appear to be young, late teens or twenty-somethings communicating in tweet-speak or some such. WTF (where’s the futon?) OMG (outside my garage?) and other such insidious references. When I was young, all the aliens were old and wrinkled and made no sense at all. Now the tables have been turned, and the only ones who know what’s going on are young and fresh-faced and walking around with tablets in their hands, eyes glued to screens and thumbs dancing over them. Thumbs, I might point out, that are smaller and more agile than the thumbs on my hands.

I just don’t know how I missed the headlines. You’d think that when our world is being taken over by a totally alien species there would be some uproar but the old people are naively complicit in the revolution. Whenever we (the old people) have a problem with our computer or our cell phone or our tablet, what do we do? We look around for the nearest young-looking alien creature to come and fix it. And fix it they do. But to whose benefit?

It may be too late already. I’ll have to finish this later, after my sweetie’s 10-year-old granddaughter comes by to “clean up” my computer.

Perhaps I worry needlessly, but if not, we’re all doomed. Start learning Martian now.